my reputation- if you can even call it a rep- preceeds me. the symptoms are all the same. conversations hush into whispers and topics change. polite smiles during introductions,  all lies through their teeth. then the ground rips open with thunder and lights because they all seem to know everything about me. i no longer matter.

so...trying to make a flyer for the show on saturday...not working. so far, i've drawn a three-headed zombie-ish mermaid-ish being, a crocodile with two heads, a crocodile with one head, something that looks like a turnip with eyes, and scribbles. let's just say i have no real talent in art, but i try.

hold your hand while we stand there
stiff armed and stiff leg-ged
and we're supposed to be looking forward
baring our sparkly white teeth
but my eyes are grazing the sides of your face
and your eyes are roaming towards the sky

we're all smiles anyway

but no one's in front with their elbows up
steady finger on the button
there's no "SAY CHEESE!"
no flash to help us at least pretend our teeth are white
i didn't brush my hair or dress in my sunday best
you didn't dread the exchange of cheesy phrases
i didn't say "please"
and you didn't say "thank you"
and no one pinched my cheek while they whispered in your ear
(rather loudly) that i was a good catch
(it wouldn't have mattered anyway if i was)
and they didn't ask for one more
and you didn't say we had to go
and they didn't wave goodbye
and neither did we

say cheese.